Like all women, I sometimes struggle with last minute gift ideas for my husband, so I Googled “pastor’s gifts” for some inspiration. I found this nifty web-site called My-Pastor.com which had some intriguing gift ideas for the spiritual man in your life and some AWESOME ones for his lovely wife!!!!
That is…if you live in the magical land of Spare Oom bordering the Forest of Narnia and you have a large pile of gold.
This may be the most bizarre list of gifts I’ve ever seen and I can only assume the lady who wrote this had to be a disgruntled pastor’s wife who seriously needed Calgon to take her away.
(She seems to have forgotten Rule #1 of blogging…don’t process your emotions on the internet)
I made a few notes so you would have a real-life PW’s perspective.
Pay for an overnight getaway for your pastor and his wife… provide babysitting if necessary. Right. Ummm-Hawaii sounds pretty cool. An ocean-view pad with a personal pool and Jacuzzi is how this pastor’s wife rolls. Oh yeah, and I have three kids. Make sure to lock down the internet for the older man-child and don’t let the tween out of the house with five of her friends and a case of toilet-paper after dark. The toddler is pretty easy if you like to watch five episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba.
Offer to keep her kids overnight on a Friday night. (We’ll be at Casa Ranchera if you need us, I mean Bible Study)
Pay for dinner and a show for the couple…provide babysitting if necessary. I am really looking forward to Mission Impossible III, thanks for watching my kids again. The baby likes mac-n-cheese.
Show your pastor appreciation… when he’s discouraged she is too. He likes Hawaii too. I’ll invite him to join me.
Get a group of ladies together and go shopping at an outlet mall a day’s trip away…add a mall gift certificate to make this pastor’s wife gift even better. CABAZON! Oh yeah!
A Special Gift Basket (let’s focus on the chocolate here people. Cheese is good too)
Fresh fruit and vegetables…especially if they are from your garden or farm. Does anyone have a garden or a farm in Orange County, CA? If you have a potted plant with basil, I’m giving you props.
A walk in your woods with her husband. (Woods? What woods? We have Ortega Canyon but people get mauled by mountain lions there)
Fence in her back yard so she can let her small children play in safety (ask first). That’s clever that they tell you to ask first, I mean crap, can you imagine coming home to a new fence some random church member put up?)
Call her when your horse has just delivered so she can see a newborn kick up its heels…don’t laugh…I once helped a farmer deliver a calf. It gives you a new perspective when you watch an animal living in pure joy! (Oh, golly I always wanted to see a horse deliver. Ummm, sounds like watching an ORK being delivered. What a GIFT! By the way, anybody have a horse?)
Provide the down payment for her dream home. (Heck yeah!!!!!!!) But, I must confess I am living in my little dream home. So, you can just cut me a check to create a writing studio over the garage, or to send our posse of kids to college)
Find out what kind of things she enjoyed before she was in ministry. Make it happen for her again. The schedule of ministry and the expectations of church members often encourage a pastor’s wife to be more conservative in areas where she would sometimes rather let loose. Help her do that…even if you have to take her two hours away so no one else from the church sees. (Can you say Vegas baby? Ladies…pack your bags now!)
Pay the monthly charges for a cell phone so she can stay in touch with friends and family. That’s $157.00 to be exact.
A corsage on a Sunday morning for no special reason except to say, “She’s special.” (That sounds interesting-NOT)Babysit while she goes shopping. (Yessssss!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Drop off supper (call first). If it’s before 6pm you don’t even need to call, because I never have my crap together before then anyway.
Buy a bag of groceries. (Not to be picky or anything, but I like ORGANIC)
Drop off a cup of her favorite cappuccino. (That’s an Americano from Starbucks with extra room and cream please)
Get into the mindset that when you see special deals at stores such as “buy one get one free”, give the freebie to your pastor’s wife. (Sweet! Just don’t get the CVS diapers, because I bought a truckload on a special and they give my baby a rash)
Source: thatvillagehouse.blogspot.com via Tori on Pinterest
