This weekend the big conversation happened. You know, the “Santa talk”–the one you desperately dread because it’s your last child. Your baby. Your last tie to the remnants of childhood hope and magic. Its the Elf on the Shelf and letters to Santa. It’s sacred deception in it’s finest form…all in the name of the Christmas Spirit.
And now it’s gone. Insert sad face.
Late on Friday evening as I tucked my almost ten-year-old daughter in to bed, she started down a path I was reluctant to follow.
“Mom, I know we’ve been dancing around this all season. Is Santa for real?” Kolby inquired.
I snuggled in for a kiss. “What do you think?” I asked, hoping for a speck of belief to build on.
“I know it’s you,” Kolby insisted. All the kid’s say Santa’s not real and I have proof.” She then proceeded to list off all of my elf fails, how she hacked my Amazon account and found Christmas gifts I ordered, and what her numerous friends said.”
“Kolby, do you want to believe?” I pleaded.
“No, I’m ready for this Mom.” she insisted.
Here was the moment and it hung in the air, heavy with tension. I paused, checked my heart and then surrendered.
Deep down, I knew I was beat. My reluctance was more about my emotion tied to her growing up than her actual readiness. Kolby seemed proud of herself and confidant that this was a natural part of growth and maturity. Her critical thinking was an indicator that she was ready to hear the truth.
Now, this wasn’t my first rodeo with the Santa talk. Kolby is my third child and I know my role as a parent is not to control my child’s emotions, either positive or negative,” it’s my job to create a safe, loving, and validating environment. My focus needs to be on honesty, connection, and empathy to her journey, not mine.
So we began the talk about who Saint Nicholas really is–a kind and generous man who loved Jesus and embodied the Spirit of giving.
“Kolby, this is a special day because now you become Santa.” I whispered.
I silently prayed for God’s wisdom as I gently guided her from belief in Santa to becoming Santa.
“Kolby, Santa is about unselfish giving and creating magic in the lives of children and those in need all around the world. And now sweetheart, it’s your turn. Are you ready for this big responsibility?”
Kolby, squeezed me tight. “Oh Mommy, I’m ready and so excited! When can we start wrapping presents! Who can we give to?”
Her joy was palpible. She felt empowered and thrilled to have made the transition from little kid to big kid.
I, on the other hand, fought back a few tears and held her tight. I knew my husband would be heartbroken and was now dreading going downstairs to tell him.
“Oh and one more thing that’s very important! Kolby, we never EVER tell someone who believes that Santa’s not real. We only want to spread love, never steal magic from a child.”
Kolby nodded as she drifted off to sleep. “Of coarse Mommy, I would never do that. Thank you for trusting me to become a Santa.”
And that’s when you know God’s timing is simply perfect. Kolby is still a Santa believer–it just looks a little different now, but her maturity is beautiful too.
Merry Christmas my friends!
–Samantha
