I’m a single mom this week to my three kiddos. It’s been challenging to say the least. So far, we’ve only had one ‘girl” melt-down, one mommy melt-down (I was out of coffee-nuff said) and the boy and the baby have fared pretty well in the last thirty-six hours.
My husband Tim is out doing manly Wild at Heart shenanigans-namely shooting fowl in the wild of North Dakota. I can just picture him traipsing through the tick infested brush, spotting a flock of ducks, lifting his big rifle into the air and pulling the trigger on a poor defenseless duck. (Quack. Bang. Plop)
Sounds awesome!
And while he is out making sure I will have no room in my freezer for the foreseeable future, I am left to hold down the troops. (At least we get to eat whatever we want until he returns, because then it’s all downhill)
Kid-“What’s for dinner mom?”
Me-“Duckloaf”
Kid-“Again?”
Me-“What’s wrong with duckloaf? You should be grateful we put food in your mouth and give you duck sandwiches to eat. There are a bazillion kids starving in the world”
Kid-“I wish I was one of them.”
Me-“Just wait until daddy goes venison hunting?”
Kid-“What’s a venison?”
Me-“I think it’s a type of big cat?”
Kid-“I love duckloaf!”
Me-“I thought so!”
So until Friday I will attempt to navigate pre-school drop-off (with a toy to share), middle school drama, and elementary school cliques.
I will make sure all homework is done through subtle mind games and a few threats. I’ll change diapers, sing lullabies, and juggle football practice, cheerleading, high school open house, Willy Wonka rehearsals, and writing deadlines-all with a pained smile.
I will go to work, commute an hour each way, sing hymns, and somehow hopefully find the time to shower (probably not going to happen), buy more coffee or maybe steal pods from the office? (Just kidding) and write about the church bathing suit (an article I am dying to tackle).
I’m sure I’ll also fit in a quiet time and some scripture memorization. (Yeah right)
I’m pretty sure Jesus is in the trenches of motherhood. (This just has to be a spiritual test, right?)
And I will dream of my duck man and the day we are reunited (so that he can deal with all this kid nonsense for at least thirty minutes and I can take a very long bath).
How do you survive motherhood?
